musings

alchemy

I love writing songs.

I love taking an idea and toying with it, looking at it from a million angles, then exploding it onto paper, combing through the debris for hidden treasures.

I love messing around on an instrument, just moving from one sound to the next like a flint striking until something suddenly sparks and smolders.

I love hammering words into a smooth line, bending and easing and forcing them into a useful shape, grafting in new ones and chipping out old ones and buffing over the seams.

And I love most of all the assembly process of piecing it together, puzzling over the square-peg words and the round-hole notes, turning them every which way until suddenly - click! - it’s a single thing, a song, an entity to itself. A thing that never existed before this moment and yet somehow seems as if it has always been there.

Alchemy.

I love it.

journal entry // sweet spots + withdrawal

a throwback: some thoughts from my journal, late 2015

The sweet spot.

That perfect place where talents and passions and merge. In perfect timing.

here's a really helpful Venn diagram with some doodling

here's a really helpful Venn diagram with some doodling

I could not identify that sweet spot for much of my life. Then, in the last few years, I found it. That's a huge blessing and I am thankful.

I didn't know, though, that once I'd found the sweet spot I might have to leave it behind. Probably not forever, although there's really no way to tell, and there's a special little brand of fear to go along with that. But I've tasted, and I've seen, and now I'm just sitting here craving. And I don't know how to get back to that season, or if I should. It's so easy to become addicted to the sweet spot. My heart is so tricky.

Just like real sweets, I guess a steady diet of the sweet spot wouldn't be very good for me. Sugar is poison if you eat enough of it, anyways. Can anyone out there honestly tell me they would pick a Brussels sprout over a slice of chocolate cake based on taste alone? (Even you Whole 30 loyalists?) I freely admit that I need vegetable days in order to have a healthy life. They just taste awfully bland. Sometimes, even really sour - like orange juice after brushing your teeth.

Lord, I long for the sweet spot again. But for now, help me be grateful for vegetables.